On Innocence
by WerewolfDoctor
Summary: Royce panics about being a father and Hadrian tries to help out with sword lessons and rambling philosophy.


Author's Note: Hey tiny Riyria fandom! Is anybody actually going to read this? Anyway, this is based on the assumption that Royce abdicated, because, seriously, can you imagine him as King? His first reaction to any problem is to kill it, especially without Hadrian holding him back, and anyway, you can't split up the boys, they're basically married. Seriously, Hadrian referred to it as a divorce when he 'retired' and he actually said 'I love you' when Royce was dying so ... yeah. Hadrian, Arista, Gwen and Royce all make one big love hug in my mind.  
Anyway. On with the story.

…

Royce had never believed in innocence. Whenever Hadrian had insisted that they not hurt a child, or even go out of their way to save a child because they were 'innocent' he had scoffed. The proper word was 'ignorant' and the sooner a child learnt the true nature of the world, the better. That was, if they didn't know it already, he knew all too well how cruel the world could be to a child. Still, he often let Hadrian drag him along into his little quests, especially if the child happened to be elfish (as Hadrian once said, how had he thought he could keep that little aspect of himself a secret from Hadrian?) Allowing the push and the pull between their two natures was what made their partnership work.

The thing was, Royce thought, as he watched Mercy, who was currently getting a sword lesson from Hadrian, Mercy was innocent. Really, truly innocent. Everything she saw was beautiful and far from wanting to teach her the realities of the world, he wanted to wrap her in the softest material he could find and murder anything that hurt her. She was a thousand times worse than Hadrian. Was that what Hadrian had been like when he was young? A little boy wanting to be a knight. Except Hadrian had grown up, seen war, seen what the world was. _It didn't break him_ , he told himself, _it won't break her_.

Royce watched as Hadrian gently adjusted Mercy's stance. He had felt protective before, many people had felt Alverstone's anger when they had made the mistake of hurting Hadrian or Gwen, but both of them, in their own way, could look after themselves.

 _Until the end. Until the bridge._

He had never felt so instantly, desperately protective and over so someone so completely unable to protect themselves. It made him feel helpless.

 _What qualifies me to be a father? Look at Hadrian, he's doing better than me already._

Royce stood up and walked over, "How's she doing?" he asked, before stepping out the way of a wild swing.

"Woah there," said Hadrian, steadying Mercy, who had stumbled with the force of her swing. "Well, she's enthusiastic and not living up to her name at all," Hadrian said with a grin. "Show your Daddy what you can do, Mercy." Mercy adopted a look of intense concentration and went through what Royce recognised as approximations of some basic steps. Although it was clumsy and awkward, Royce felt a surge of pride for his daughter.

Hadrian glanced at him. He blinked, before saying, "Well done, yes, well done," Mercy cheered and grabbed him (or at least his legs) in a hug. Royce froze. To say he wasn't a hugging person was an understatement and most people, had they tried to hug him, would have been met with a knife in their gut. He had hugged Gwen, of course, and even Hadrian on occasion, although Hadrian picked his times carefully (though why Hadrian was so keen on hugging him he had never figured out). He had never been faced with a small child so enthusiastically hugging him and awkwardly patted her head. Mercy lifted her arms upwards and demanded to be picked up. Royce's eyes widened before complying with this very serious request. He glanced at Hadrian, who looked like he was dying from silent laughter.

Hadrian stopped and frowned, "No, hold her like _this_ ," he said, demonstrating.

"How do you know how to hold children?" Royce asked, though he didn't hesitate to do as Hadrian said.

"I grew up in a village, remember? There were always plenty of kids."

"Didn't you run away at fifteen? Weren't you a bit young to be looking after the kids?"

"Believe me, if you're big enough to pick up the kids, you end up picking up the kids and I was a big kid." Royce sighed heavily and Hadrian clapped him on the back, "C'mon, you'll be fine, everybody starts out a beginner."

"Yeah, but most people have some concept of what family actually is."

Hadrian sighed then, "Mercy, why don't you go find Allie to play with, I need to tell your Daddy what an idiot he's being."

"OK," said Mercy cheerfully, climbed down from Royce's arms and ran off. They watched her go.

"Look, the thing is, I was a rubbish son and my father," Hadrian looked pained, "I know I go on about him all the time, but he was a pretty crappy father. We argued all the time, he didn't tell me anything, not about this great destiny, not about my mother, not his feelings, not even his real name. He worked me to the point of absolute exhaustion each night and then further, so I could become a great blacksmith and swordsman, well Teshlor Knight. And I was a bratty little dreamer who ran away at fifteen."

"Your point?"

"My point is you might think I know more about families, but really what I know is how to teach somebody how to use a sword, and so," he gestured to where Mercy had run off.

"So?"

"My point is we make do with what we've got. I mean you love her, don't you?"

"Yes," it was curiously easy to say.

"Well, so long as you keep her fed, clothed and happy and carry on loving her you should be ok. I suppose what you really have to figure out is what you _don't_ want to be and then go from there," Hadrian sat down on the grass and Royce followed him.

"What on Elan does that even mean?"

"I mean we all know who we don't want to be, the people we despise, so we have to work out, so it's like. Well, I remember, when I was twelve I had been arguing with my Da. He'd been lecturing me about elves. Everybody'd been saying the usual, y'know, they're lazy, shiftless, the usual, and he was correcting me. I guess I know why he was so angry about it now, what with all the," Hadrian gestured at Royce, "heir stuff. Anyway, I was angry at him because, I don't know, he was punishing me for something, I can't really remember. Anyway, there was an elf in town travelling through selling things and I just, took out my frustration on him."

"You … beat him up," Royce said, shocked. It wasn't that he didn't believe a twelve year old Hadrian could beat up an elf, it was just the action was so unlike Hadrian he wasn't entirely sure Hadrian wasn't making the story up.

"Yeah, I mean, he was fast and full grown, but he wasn't exactly _you_. But, see that's when I realised I didn't want to be that, I didn't want to be a bully who took out their frustrations on weaker men."

"Deep thoughts for a twelve year old."

"I admit that that's the condensed version. The point is, once you work out what you don't want to be … I don't know, it falls into place."

"But how does that help me? I'm trying to raise Mercy and I'm not a good person. I didn't have a revelations about not being a bully, like you did."

"I think you're a good person," Hadrian said so softly Royce barely heard him. "At least, you're not the person I first met all those years ago."

Royce stared at Hadrian, "You're insane, you really are insane. I'm a thief and a murderer and I don't feel any guilt for either."

"And when we first met you didn't care that you didn't feel any guilt," Hadrian shrugged. "I've always wondered why we're friends, to be honest, we're such opposites, we should hate each other, we _did_ hate each other. But then something happened. It can't just be almost dying, I've gone through a lot with a lot of men, and we didn't become best friends. Some might say it's fate, given … everything, but despite that I don't think it's the whole Heir / Guardian thing. I think you're kinder than you let on and I'm a bit more of a bastard than I want to be. I think there's something between us that makes a Whole," Hadrian shrugged again. "Or maybe I'm talking rubbish, who knows."

Royce, for the first time in their friendship, extended his own arm around Hadrian, "You're definitely insane," he said, "but I wouldn't want to raise that little girl without you."

Hadrian laughed and patted Royce on the back, "Glad to be here, buddy, glad to be here."


End file.
